Clunite Editorial · Relationships
Is it anxiety — or a gut feeling?
12 questions. A 0–100 score. Find out whether what you feel in this relationship is anxious attachment running its pattern — or something specific worth paying attention to.
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Bartholomew & Horowitz (1991) attachment styles; Hazan & Shaver (1987) adult attachment. Editorially reviewed in-house.
Three score levels
Where on the spectrum are you?
Your 12 answers produce a single score from 0 to 100. The score reflects how consistently anxious attachment patterns are showing up in your day-to-day experience of this relationship.
Low anxiety
Your relationship feels broadly safe. The concern you experience is likely proportionate to real events rather than a chronic background pattern.
Moderate anxiety
Some anxious attachment patterns are present. They are common and workable — the question is which ones, and whether they are responding to the current relationship or an older pattern.
High anxiety
Relationship anxiety is running as a background process in your daily life. That is a real thing with a real name, and it responds to specific approaches.
What we measure
Six signal patterns we ask about.
These are not hypothetical scenarios. They are the actual behaviors and internal experiences that research connects to anxious attachment in adult relationships.
Signal 01
Phone-checking and response-scanning
Monitoring for signals of disconnection even when nothing is objectively wrong.
Signal 02
Reassurance-seeking
Needing confirmation that the relationship is okay more than occasionally — and the relief wearing off quickly.
Signal 03
Retrospective analysis
Replaying conversations or tone of voice, looking for evidence of a problem that may not exist.
Signal 04
Pre-emptive appeasement
Apologizing for things you are not certain you did — to avoid conflict before it starts.
Signal 05
Testing behaviors
Acting withdrawn to see if the other person notices — a strategy the anxious attachment system uses to seek proof of care.
Signal 06
Baseline waiting
Describing your emotional default in the relationship as "waiting for something to go wrong."
How it works
Ninety seconds. A real score.
Answer 12 questions
Each one describes a specific behavior or internal experience — not a hypothetical. Answer based on your current or most recent significant relationship.
We calculate a 0–100 score
Each answer is weighted on a four-point scale (Never / Rarely / Sometimes / Often). Your total maps to one of three bands.
You get a specific result
Your score band, the patterns driving it, and three concrete approaches for this week. Not "go to therapy." Specific.
Methodology
Grounded in attachment research.
This test draws on the adult attachment framework developed by Kim Bartholomew and Leonard Horowitz in their 1991 paper "Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model" (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226–244), which extended John Bowlby's foundational theory into adult relational behavior.
The anxious/preoccupied attachment style
Bartholomew and Horowitz describe the preoccupied (anxiously attached) adult as one who holds a negative model of self and a positive model of others — leading to chronic efforts to gain approval and validation from close others. In adult romantic relationships, this manifests as hyperactivation of the attachment system: constant monitoring, reassurance-seeking, and difficulty regulating emotion when proximity to a partner feels threatened.
Preoccupied individuals — characterized by a negative self-model paired with a positive model of others — show an ambivalent orientation toward close relationships, seeking high levels of intimacy and approval while frequently experiencing worry and emotional volatility when proximity to the attachment figure feels uncertain. — Bartholomew & Horowitz, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1991 (editorial summary)
Anxiety versus intuition
The test also addresses a question that attachment research surfaces repeatedly: when does relationship worry reflect an internal pattern, and when does it reflect something real in the relationship? Research by Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver (1987, "Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511–524) established that adult romantic attachment functions analogously to infant-caregiver attachment — meaning the system can activate independently of the current relationship's actual safety level.
Editorial note
This test is an educational self-assessment, not a clinical instrument. The 12 items were designed to reflect behaviors described in the attachment research literature in plain language. If relationship anxiety is significantly affecting your daily functioning, please consult a licensed mental health professional.
FAQ
Questions, answered.
Is this a clinical test for anxiety disorder?
No. This is an educational self-assessment tool, not a clinical instrument. It is informed by attachment theory research but is not a substitute for evaluation by a licensed mental health professional. If anxiety is significantly affecting your daily functioning, please consult a professional.
What is the difference between relationship anxiety and intuition?
Relationship anxiety tends to be activated by the attachment pattern itself — it appears across partners, activates even when nothing is objectively wrong, and responds to reassurance temporarily before returning. Intuition tends to be tied to specific, observable behaviors or events. This test helps you identify which pattern is more active for you.
Is my data stored?
No personal identifiers are collected. Your answers are processed in-session and never linked to your name or email. We do not require sign-up. Aggregate, anonymized response statistics may inform future updates.
Can I take this if I'm not currently in a relationship?
Yes. Anxious attachment is a relatively stable pattern across relationships. Answer based on your most recent significant relationship, or on patterns you recognize across multiple relationships.
What should I do if my score is high?
Take it seriously, but do not catastrophize. A high score means anxious attachment patterns are active — not that your relationship is doomed or that you are broken. The result page provides specific approaches for each level. If the anxiety is significantly interfering with daily life, please consult a mental health professional. In the United States, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7.
Read next
The library, curated.
Field guide · 10 min
12 signs of anxious attachment — and why each one makes sense
A plain-English explanation of each anxious attachment behavior and the logic underneath it.
How-to · 12 min
How to manage relationship anxiety — approaches that actually work
Evidence-informed strategies for reducing the day-to-day activation of anxious attachment patterns.
Deep read · 11 min
Relationship anxiety vs. intuition — how to tell which one is talking
A research-informed framework for distinguishing attachment anxiety from genuine red flags.
90 seconds
You already know something feels off.
Find out if it's anxiety running its pattern — or something specific this relationship is asking you to look at.
Take the testFree · No email · For entertainment & education